I am always intrigued by stories like this from people that have similar experiences and still keep going to see the same T for a long time. What keeps the motivation going? What are the benefits of experiencing these negative things on repeat, so much that one is willing to even pay for it? I am just asking because I am honestly intrigued each time I hear others' experiences with going to a T for a long time and experiencing a lot of discomfort, hateful feelings, even an opportunity to express these intensely on repeat. I stopped twice after quite a short while once this type of dynamic started with my first T as no matter how I looked and how he tried to convince me, I just did not feel any benefit and it made me worse worrying about stuff I did not have any significant issues with previously. Subjectively, I perceived the Ts behavior that triggered me as abusive and manipulative and I generally have very low tolerance for that even in everyday relationships. I guess for many people who find expressing intense negative emotions in therapy useful don't have bad/abusive therapists and I guess it is an opportunity for relief and understanding? I know theories about it, am just really curious in practical reality, what keeps people doing this type of therapy long-term. For me personally, if someone is a decent, open-minded person and is not hostile/manipulative with me, I rarely have an urge to attack them or to shut them down. And when I do, it takes quite a lot and a situation from which I feel I cannot escape.