Oh, TheSadGirl, it wasn't your post, it was several posts pointing to the same issue after the point where I couldn't edit the title of the whole thread, unless I wrote to a mod. Also I didn't pick the title to be judgemental, I picked it because I think it is a dichotomy that many people can relate to.

It was the drumbeat of criticism for the title that got to me, not your post.

I know everyone means well, I just ended up taking it on the chin again. Not even a post here can be accepted to talk about what is actually on my mind without having to choose words so carefully it becomes impossible to thread a fine line. I mean no one is thinking about my situation and why I would choose that expression when they criticize.