Thank you for your replies I wasn’t asking for a diagnosis - he has enough already lol. My worry is that he shows major warning signs that are supposed to be addressed with major intervention but I don’t know what that looks like.
All of my research say “Get him help immediately.” But his doctor barely looks up from his computer and his therapist didn’t do much other than ask about his day. (I’m picking a new therapist for him.) Am I supposed to push for more than just weekly therapist appointments and occasional doctor visits?

Mentioning ODD, that was a consideration but he is actually a very well mannered, thoughtful kid and none of the doctors he’s seen in the past believe that diagnosis fits him. The only time he isn’t great is when he has an “episode”. The “espisodes” happen once every few months-ish. Although, his perceived need to kill something is constant.

In patient isnt a possibility because my husband is NOT on board with it at all. He has an overwhelming hate for hospitals, etc and doesn’t believe patients in mental health facilities are treated well.