Hey guys. A long time ago I had an experience where I didnt know if my memory of a childhood event was something that I actually experienced or something that I dreamed happened to me. It terrified me and I worried for a long time that I was becoming delusional and remembering things incorrectly. My fear of becoming delusional led to even worse ocd about memories and led to me developing some memory confusion and also led me to develop sort of a compulsive memory checking habit to make sure my memories are real and that i wasn't losing my mind.

Well, that all happened over a year ago and I haven't worried about this stuff for a long time, until this morning. The trigger was this: my cat has been sick for awhile and has had one runny eye for a couple months that ive been trying to get to heal up. I suddenly thought I remembered seeing that my cat's other eye was watering now too, but I checked the cat and it wasnt and I am pretty positive that never happened, even though it felt like I remembered it happening.
Also at one point I was brushing my hair and suddenly had this "memory" pop into my head of my little sister saying she liked the blonde streaks in my hair...my hair is all brown and I doubt that it happened but i can't tell if it was a memory or an intrusive thought, if it actually happened or if it was a part of a dream or random thought that for some reason feels like a memory.
There was also an incident in which I feared my therapists office would contact me for being a no show to one of my appointments, and then I had a sudden "memory" that I received a letter in the mail from them asking about my absense. I knew immediately that this didn't happen but im freaking out because it really felt like I remembered it!!
Are these just intrusive thoughts or am I going crazy? I can't help but think back to the time where I couldn't decipher a possible memory from a dream and I had many of these similar incidents right after that experience which led me to fear I was becoming psychotic. It was so nice that this particular obsessive theme had gone away for awhile and now it's back and I'm afraid it's going to continue!