Quote:
Originally Posted by cielpur
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...speak-yourself
Today, I spoke up for myself to someone who has a very aggressive personality and who often speaks without thinking first. I kindly told the person that I wanted to offer them some feedback, after they responded to me via email very rudely. I pointed out assertively how I interpreted their tone and what they wrote, and asked them to try to see the situation from my point of view, which they refused to do.
They were surprised that I spoke up for myself after they insulted me, because they tried to belittle me and justify why they were so rude to me. Instead of acknowledging their behavior and apologizing for it, or acknowledge my point of view and show empathy of how they could see through my eyes, how their behavior made me feel, they just defended their behavior and accused me of being sensitive and over reactive, which is what some people do, when they don't want to take responsibility for their behavior.
I asked this person for advice and instead of offering me advice, they ridiculed me, insulted me, hurt my feelings, and put conditions on their "help" if I wanted it. Very arrogant, I thought. So, I assertively spoke up for myself and thanked this person for showing me their true colors. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.
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I love (insert sarcasm here) when people do blame you for being sensitive and for over reacting. It is a cheap shot on their part because it is a typical characteristics of a bully. I am sorry that they chose to continue being a bully towards you. And i really am very sorry that you had to deal with that.
On the other hand, may I please ask? If you knew that they were a bully, why did you try to show that you were hurt? Doesn’t that give that person yet another reason to feel powerful and bully you? Isnt that how they feel powerful? With their cheap shots?
You seem to be a dignified person with consideration of others’ feelings and I wish you wouldn’t have given that person the pleasure of calling you ‘sensitive’. Again, as i said, typical bully character. Cheap shot.
I am glad that you refused their inquiry of transcribing the conversation. That is just ridiculous.