Hello whatforme: Welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. I'm sorry I cannot really comment with regard to your concerns.

As you no doubt realize, we here on PC cannot diagnose you. Our purpose here is to provide one another with support & to share experiences & information. Perhaps, however, there may be some other PC members who will recognize themselves in what you wrote & who will be able to share their experiences.

May I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!