Thank ya'll for answering. I'm sorry ya'll are all in survival mode too.
My t has me this week for homework writting down what, who and why of anger in me. She's told me that when i work through all that anger and get it all out, i'll feel much better. I guess thats what gradually releases the survival mode.
Kiya, thanks for mentioning the workbook you used. I'm glad it helped you out. My trauma came from Katrina. And i'm finding out in thearpy from earlier moments in my life.
I saw my pdoc today and he gave me a diagnosis of bipolar now. So, i'm going to be on a new med. I'm thinking maybe finding this out might help me along. I dont know. I dont know that it even matters.
Thanks again for ya'lls responses. I send ya'll all hugs from me.