Hi lalalost,

What were you looking for when you posted your message?

I can identify some with your post, especially the distinct "sides". I was finally diagnosed with DDNOS and PDNOS almost 8 years ago, and the resulting trauma therapy helped, but only so much. I know more or less who I am now -- I'm more aware of the dissociated emotions and "parts" from the trauma years ago -- but it's sort of "so what"? Still, if I hadn't "found" my lost emotions and "parts" I would still probably be searching, so. . .

If your life is working for you now, there is nothing "wrong" with having 4 distinct sides. But I can understand the wish, and the drive, to find out who you are -- in totality. The only problem is, from my experience, it can be like opening a can of worms, and I became very dysfunctional for a long while, and couldn't tell when the therapist wasn't really helping anymore and instead was making things worse.

Good luck, and if there is anything else you think I might be able to help with -- just know that I am not a professional -- let me know.