One thing that seems super common in dysfunctional families is for someone in the family to want to keep up a happy facade for outsiders. Family stuff is so hard. It's hard to tell what normal looks like and you wind up doubting yourself. Keeping my fingers crossed you can save up and move out soon... leaving home made a huge difference in my life.

Re: mice: I get them in the winter too. So do friends and coworkers. People talk about it. It's not about being dirty, it's about not being able to block all their points of entry and their rapid reproduction. I think there's probably a lot of symbolism in your mother's reaction to the mice conversation you had with your therapist, guessing that's how she's reacted at other times. Best to keep quiet and not let people know. What people think is more important than discussing solutions to a problem. Just because she wants to react that way doesn't mean it's right or normal or that *you* have to do the same thing.