It happened in life that not only would my therapist call to have me taken in, but my neighbors would too, regularly and repeatedly, which only contributed to my paranoia and lack of trust in what is called mental health care. i do trust my pdoc but even then I consider every word carefully and avoid issues unless it meets some kind of cost benefit analysis

I do appreciate your feeling that you will never accept being taken in again. I see it as a fundamental intrusion into basic human rights that one cannot speak one's mind. I also think it is a problem that rears its head into more than a few patient's lives, the strong light of authoritarian control of a thought police

I would try to talk to your therapist not about the sui but about, in general, what you are feeling now about the situation re: what you feel safe talking about and your views about being petitioned

well, my view, is that many people don't realize the long term cost of taking people in against their will, and the loss of trust in health care.

It's not like they do such a great job of taking care of people and helping them feel better, to improve their own lives, etc.

Sorry you are in a bad place. I am too. We can all try to help each other through these times.

If it helps to vent, then vent.