I have used the emailing (only once), writing down and having her read it, writing down and me read it (yes easy to skip over things when you do that), telling her that I nervous about telling her what I want to say and talking about that for a little bit, bringing in a song/book/item that would allow me to start the conversation.

The email did not work well for me because of not knowing how she took the information. It led to a meltdown. I still email her stuff that I am upset about, I won't email her something that is a secret because I need to be able to see her response or interact with her in some way to know that we are still ok. That the information didn't in some way change how she views me.