Quote:
Originally Posted by Xynesthesia
I was going to respond on your other thread yesterday, but this is as good as any  So, all this googling stuff... You know what question comes to my mind each time I read about it? Not at all why you do it, what you want to find out etc, but why you feel so conflicted, guilty, ashamed, whatever about googling her? Why is it even a topic to bring up to her? I googled my Ts and virtually everyone I am curious about the way you do and never felt it inappropriate or intrusive - it is the public web and if people put info on there, I think it is a fair assumption that they are comfortable with it even if it's not them who directly shares it in person. There have been quite a few threads about similar topics and there are always some people who seem to think like I do, and others more like you do. So I just wonder what is it that even brings up the thought that looking for whatever information about whoever on the public web is inappropriate? Maybe it's me missing something here... |
For me, it's finding out information that T has specifically said she didn't want to tell me. She HAS at times in the past asked me what I found out, and we discussed how it doesn't help ME to know. Like FB. I felt jealous reading comments by others to T, and seeing photos and blogs by her daughter. Do you think googling T's family is okay too, because it's also public?
When I googled her art exhibit and saw what she wrote about herself, I had a hard time with it. I had to discuss it with her. I learned a lot of personal things about her. Her response was that she knew clients could see it when she put it out there. But the art gallery did, not her.
I begged her to tell me her bf's name about a year ago. She would only say his first name. I was very upset that she wouldn't tell me. I searched lists of T's with that first name. Finally I dropped it and lost my desire to know.
So, last night I found out without even trying. It satisfied me, though brings up jealousy that I don't have a partner. But how does T feel? She didn't want to tell me. Sure, it was right there on my Google list. But I know something she refused to tell me. That's why I feel bad about it.