Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
I don't think I'm testing my T or maybe a part is now that I think of it. Does she love me even when I do something she doesn't like? She had reason to be angry when I drove past her house in the past. She stuck with me. I know she won't desert me now.
Others in my family keep things from me. I don't remember my parents doing it though. I hate being left out more than anything!!! T and I have discussed that a lot.
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It's hard to admit to the testing part for some reason. I think there's a sort of societal judgement about it, or at least that's how I felt. It took me a lot to admit that side of my motivations. When I know what my T struggles with, I push on that. It's part of the transference. The healing is in the fact I become aware of what I'm doing. It's hard work but it is the work. Therapy is the place to experiment with these dynamics and young motivations.