Quote:
Originally Posted by Xynesthesia
I was going to respond on your other thread yesterday, but this is as good as any  So, all this googling stuff... You know what question comes to my mind each time I read about it? Not at all why you do it, what you want to find out etc, but why you feel so conflicted, guilty, ashamed, whatever about googling her? Why is it even a topic to bring up to her? I googled my Ts and virtually everyone I am curious about the way you do and never felt it inappropriate or intrusive - it is the public web and if people put info on there, I think it is a fair assumption that they are comfortable with it even if it's not them who directly shares it in person. There have been quite a few threads about similar topics and there are always some people who seem to think like I do, and others more like you do. So I just wonder what is it that even brings up the thought that looking for whatever information about whoever on the public web is inappropriate? Maybe it's me missing something here... |
I am right here too. We google every job applicant, and I fully expect people to google me as well. It is more of an issue here not about googling but about information being made illicit somehow . If she cant control the info, she should just reveal it, not create a power struggle. What I hear you saying is you are stressed she is going to retire and leave you, so you are trying to read all the signs available to you? I think instead of telling her you googled her BF it is maybe time to really talk about your feelings about her retiring and make concrete plans what you will do then? I dont really know that, but it is a sense I get.
People use google earth before selling you a puppy to check if you have a fenced yard like you said lol, and run your credit before hiring you. I think some T's are vulnerable here and feel scared. So many traditions of psychoanalysis rest on enigma and mystery that just cant be maintained if they use social media unwisely or even cautiously to some extent. I have no compunction about following my curiosities online, but then maybe a combination of internet manners and self preservation mean I just keep it to myself.