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Old Dec 21, 2017, 01:30 PM
kecanoe kecanoe is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2008
Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 3,052
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xynesthesia View Post
I see. Yes, I remember the previous story about the bf and George Clooney

Well, I personally would think that it is perfectly okay to google her family using public info, but you clearly feel very differently about all this than me, and it sounds complex, so I don't think I am a good reference. I never feel an iota of guilt or conflict about looking for info on the web about stuff people don't tell me, but I would never try to get into any private sphere like checking somebody's personal computer, phone, look for things in their office or anywhere. I also hate gossip and don't like to ask anything about anyone behind their back, or spread info that way. These types of respect for privacy and confidences are what I personally feel very strongly about, no compromise. But not the public internet. It is also interesting for me why I am so serious about not intruding anyone's true privacy and not letting info leak out of me - there is a whole story behind it about my childhood. I won't bother with it because it is your thread, but this is why I thought it is interesting to think where our individual relationships with privacy come from.... there are so many versions. My version manifests in many interesting ways in different areas of my life.

I think it's good that you discuss these things with your T, including the cases when you kinda broke your resolve, how finally getting the piece of info you desired made you feel, etc.
You said this quite well; it's pretty much where I stand. I would definitely consider looking through someones office, looking at things on their phone or computer to be nosy and intrusive, and out of line. I apply that standard to everyone, not just Ts. I do get on H's computer or phone once in a while to look for something in particular, but only with his knowledge.

I don't see anything wrong with googling a Ts name. I've done it and may do it again. I've also googled other service providers. And I would be fine with someone googling me if they were curious.

I also agree that it seems like there could be some insight gained by the dynamic of Rainbow wanting to know stuff and T saying she won't tell. I've had super-disclosing and minimal disclosing Ts and both are fine with me. So there might be something going on under the surface that would be interesting to figure out.
Thanks for this!
rainbow8, SalingerEsme