I am right here too. We google every job applicant, and I fully expect people to google me as well. It is more of an issue here not about googling but about information being made illicit somehow . If she cant control the info, she should just reveal it, not create a power struggle. What I hear you saying is you are stressed she is going to retire and leave you, so you are trying to read all the signs available to you? I think instead of telling her you googled her BF it is maybe time to really talk about your feelings about her retiring and make concrete plans what you will do then? I dont really know that, but it is a sense I get.

People use google earth before selling you a puppy to check if you have a fenced yard like you said lol, and run your credit before hiring you. I think some T's are vulnerable here and feel scared. So many traditions of psychoanalysis rest on enigma and mystery that just cant be maintained if they use social media unwisely or even cautiously to some extent. I have no compunction about following my curiosities online, but then maybe a combination of internet manners and self preservation mean I just keep it to myself.