I am concerned about you. It sounds like you are drowning. Taking care of my mother with very little help made me feel like this. However, I do not think it was as bad as your situation. You need time off even though it may be only for a part of the day, maybe a few hours. You then can get out of the house and go do something. This can be going to Starbucks to have a cup of coffee for example. Oh yes, you probably do not have any money for expensive coffee. There are restaurants you can go to just to be there. You do not need to purchase anything perhaps go to a mall for window shopping.

Is there anybody at all that can help you? Maybe your next door neighbor? Explain the situation to them which may help. There may be free services available that can watch your children. I think volunteers may be available for this. This is just a thought. If you need to, you may be able to get a young babysitter that would only charge you some relatively small amount of money. Perhaps this can be a young daughter of a freind of yours. It is extremely important to be well enough to take care of your family. Do whatever you need to do. Do not be shy looking for help.

This is all I can think of right now. Oh yes, maybe find someone you can talk to over this dire situation. This can help you feel there is someone you can talk to that is there for you. I have another thought. Call the crisis line and explain the situation. You can make this out to them to be that stress is triggering your bipolar symptoms, that due to this, you feel are feeling that you may crash or go manic. This would make it not possible to take care of your family. This may be a little exaggerated, but under this circumstances, you have to do what you have to do to survive. They may have suggestions that would help you cope.

Now I have given you all of my ideas. I am sorry to find you in a terrible place to be. But you have people here to talk to about this. I hope the support we can give you will make the stress just a little bit easier to manage.