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Originally Posted by Sonic645
I don’t know what this could be. I don’t know if it’s dissociation, or what, but I know that it’s not good for me. If I focus on something, or get lost in my thoughts, the second I get back to reality is completely different. It feels so weird, and it takes forever to get back to normal again. I was getting ice cream out of one of those gallon boxes you buy, and I completely forgot to put the ice cream back in the freezer. It took me about 15 minutes to realize the mistake I had made, and then I couldn’t focus on cleaning up a mess from the dripping ice cream that was on the floor.
It’s just like I’m not all there. When I’m at school, I can feel really weird, and my emotions aren’t straight. I get these weird intrusive thoughts, and my mind is just all over the place. It’s almost to the point where it takes a decent amount of effort just to function.
I’m a shy, and introverted guy. I do have social anxiety, and possibly something along the lines of a depressive disorder. What could this be, and why do I feel like this?
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I have discovered I am more forgetful of normal every day things like forgetting to put things away, where I put things, and having intrusive thoughts is worse for me since integration / becoming one whole person again. I no longer have the alters doing things for me and because "someone else" did things for me, I dont always remember to do them. my wife is constantly telling me .. we need to go to the store the milk got left out last night, or I would really appreciate it if you would not put the sliced turkey in the cupboard... you know I have come to the realization that you my dear are so forgetful and your alters did things for you like the dishes, housework meals, and clean up but could you please write yourself a note that dairy products belong in the fridge / freezer when you are done. last night I reached into the freezer for the ice cream and there it was wrapped in christmas wrapping and a card saying please put me away after use, "thumbalina" is not here to do that for you....
yup integration can be fun at times. where there was once someone inside who did things for me, they are not there the same way anymore, everything they were is now me so now I must be the one to focus and do the putting away.
what I do now to take care of my normal non dissociation forgetfulness, like forgetting to put things away is sticky notes on things, writing myself to do lists, organizing my fridge and freezer in a way that everything has it's place and breathing/ grounding exercises.
I also have my dissociative forgetfulness... getting triggered by something that results in my having my dissociative symptoms and then not remembering things. when this happens I do the same things with one change, I try and figure out what the trigger was that caused me to dissociate. this way I am able to fix the problem that caused me to dissociate, this leads to not dissociating again when I encounter that same trigger.
my point... if you have alters (cant remember if you have DID or not) but if you do, maybe you can ask inside and see who's job it is to do it. If you do not have alters talk with your treatment provider. maybe you can discover what the trigger was for your dissociating that lead to your leaving ice ream out after use. then you and your treatment provider might be able to find a way for you to not dissociate when you encounter that trigger.