((Julie))

I can relate to your post. I have the same thoughts sometimes. I've been doing it so long, it's almost normal.

But I think the answer is that it's not healthy, and that there are better ways to cope. I think that we get into a schedule or a cycle, and even if it contains things like SI...it feels fine, because we come to accept it. At the same time, we know somewhere inside that these things are not good for us. That's why I keep fighting, anyway. I know that I can never feel "better" until I deal with whatever lies underneath the SI. That, and I'm not a huge fan of being addicted to anything, so that fact alone sort of bothers me enough to try and stop.

Those are my thoughts =)