ty everyone for the advice... my t called today to make sure i had made the call to my med doc... and he shared his concerns and listened to mine... we came to an agreement... he understands that i don't want to take antidepressants anymore... and he will back off from pushing that for the time being if i can get back to a more stable place...my depression is triggered by my panic...i promised i would sit down with my med doc and discuss what med choices i have for anxiety (not that i haven't done this a million times)... he doesn't want me to wait til march because i hit bottom over new years... and i admitted to him that when it happened i didn't know if i was going to be able to get through it...and if it meant feeling like this i wasn't sure i wanted too...guess that got his flags up...

your right perna... sleep and nutrition are major factors in my ability to cope... i know that i can't let myself get to exhausted (which i was)... but the catch is when the panic is in full swing... i can't sleep... and i get to where i am afraid to sleep because i wake up in the middle of panic attacks.

he wants me to ask specifically about xanax (which is the rx i have) and ativan... and at what doses they they are safely taken. i have seradyn which is a supplement that works in a simular way... but it all makes me feel numb...and i hate it...lol... numb by meds i hate... numb by si...oh well

thank you for listening

lyn