I completely get what you are saying. I am the same, but am stopping because I have no choice.

However, every time you cut you run the risk of getting a major infection. An infection that could cause you to lose your hand or arm, and infection that could do damage to your organs or your brain. Wounds seem such a doddle to us SIers in a land of advanced medicine, but it only takes a few nasty pathogens and it can quickly go very nasty.

Also, my psychiatrist was explaining that many people have arteries that take funny routes. It is scarily easy to hit one by accident. Hit that and you could lose your hand again, or worse. You have probably noticed your cuts getting deeper over the years, and if you continue they will get deeper again.

Even if one is lucky to get away with it, it buggers up circulation, can make the skin go numb, stains the carpet, costs a fortune in dressings etc.

All in, it just isn't worth it. There are other ways to feel ok. It takes hard work and perseverance to find them and to make them effective, but it can be done.

And never forget that whilst cutting does "work" for a bit, it never works for long. It's not a solution by any means.

Right now you are letting it control you, whilst you could in time be free of that.

All the best,

XXXXX