I struggle with prescription drug use. It started with opioids and diazepam which I used to knock me out, but it quickly escalated into anything that would make me tired, including my antipsychotics. I would mix up a cocktail of meds, sleep, then take some more once I woke up. I am sure that my husband knew that something was up, but I don't think he knew what to do. After several months, I decided that I didn't like myself anymore, and I confessed everything to him. I asked him to help me regulate my medication. We bought a lockbox and put my pills in there, and only he knows the combination. I had to ask for my opioids, and eventually, I stopped asking for the opiods altogether. I am now off of them completely.

I have been doing well for about a year, but lately I have been really tempted and have slipped up a few times. Because of my husband's crazy work schedule, he has to give me my nighttime pills and my daytime pills at the same time, so I have two times the meds at once. On more than one occasion, I've taken all of my meds at once just to make myself go to sleep. I know that it is dangerous and life-threatening to mix so many meds (I take a lot of meds in addition to my psych meds), but I have no willpower. It is so hard to stay strong lately. I don't know what has changed for me. I had been doing so well.

Has anyone else experienced a relapse like this? What did you do? How do you fend off a relapse when temptation is so close? I can't avoid having my pills near me; I have to be strong enough to avoid them. I don't know what to do.