Am I alone having this paradoxical feeling? I have OCD and I'm on my fifth day of medication with Paxil. When I somehow manage to cope with my anxiety and feel a little relief, shortly afterwards I start thinking "why are you calm?" "Aren't you supposed to be anxious?", "It's just your fifth day on Paxil, it's not possible! Or is it? What if Paxil worked early for you? Or maybe you called down yourself? If you can calm yourself, you don't have anxiety. What if you get anxious or triggered now? God I wish I wasn't. Does it depend on me or it doesn't? Maybe Paxil won't help me because it's not anxiety it's just me? But why am I so anxious? And etc. To make it short, when I manage to calm down I'm still somewhat less anxious but constantly asking myself what is the reason that I calmed down. Sounds stupid, you get calm, you be calm, but no, I can't stop wondering why I managed to calm down and it kind of irritating. Have you guys experienced something alike?

P.s: after those "ups" I still get back to racing thoughts, and again back to somewhat "up" wondering if it was me or just mood changes independently of me.