This is a mess.

Trust me, I'm not judging the situation because I can actually relate to "Linda".

But, what I'm seeing, as an outside perspective all I can say is she's not willing to let go of something. This "something" needs to be figured out because ultimately it's not fair to you nor her husband. If she has not separated with her husband even after he had willingly recommended it then this decision is on her behalf. If I were you I'd feel jipped. There's no way possible she could commit 100% of herself to you if she has a husband as well.

I'm young, surely naive, and inexperienced in this sort of issue. I'm married and never had a "relationship" outside my marriage but I did have an planned one night stand with a friend. It's completely different but somewhat similar because in Linda's aspect something is lacking in her life and it's probably something more then sex. It's possibly something more then what you or her husband can give her...probably something with in herself. This type of decision should be cut and dry..either or....she cannot have both. You shouldn't have to tolerate be the "second" man neither.

Personally, I'd walk away and tell her to call me when she gets her %#@&#! together and makes a decision. It's not fair to wrangle your emotions this way. Imagine the emotions of her husband.

Love is complicated...sure. I hope whatever happens you can find some sort of enlightenment in this situation. Good luck.