My Support Forums - View Single Post

Delvere · Dec 23, 2017, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello Delvere: It appears you're still pretty new here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral!

Thanks for the welcome!

Quote:

Having read your post, the only thing I think I can say is that this is all very complicated... and, I'm afraid, fraught with dangers.

My recommendation, for what it's worth, would be to forget this new guy & focus on figuring out what you want to do about your current relationship. Then, once you've finally figured that out, you can then decide where to go from there.

I am thinking the same things. But there are two moments. First, I have lost belief in my husband and I am kind of ready walk away. I sincerely doubt our relationship will last the whole life. Secondly, I am very much into new guy, but I am also a realist. Sometimes I think of maybe getting just a child from him? With his consent, of course, and the child also would be aware of paternity.
To make things more complicated, we both (me and the new guy) belong to a small group of indigenous peoples and sometimes I feel guilty that I have contributed to extinction of our people by marrying out. Our family members know each other well, but I am somewhat stranger to them (even to my mother), because I grew up in a different country (I have bit complicated life story).
I have told my mother about the "new" guy. She wasn't happy about it at all. She said, that it's better if I keep looking for more suitable persons. She, like me, believes my current husband isn't the correct choice, but she isn't supportive of my other choice either. She probably knows those people better than I do and knows what she talks about. I should listen my mother, I guess, but maybe she would be happy if I continued our peoples bloodline without actually committing to relationships to that guy? It's crazy idea, though, I guess, these people normally raise children in households where both parents are involved. And plus it's probably also egoistic thought.

Quote:

I see you're in Europe somewhere. So I don't know what's available to you in terms of mental health services. But, if possible, I would think some individual counseling or therapy for yourself, & perhaps some couples counseling for you & your husband might be helpful. In some way or another you're going to have to find a way to work through all of this. And talking it through, at length & in depth, with a skilled counselor or therapist may be the best way to proceed.

The thing you want to avoid, I believe, is simply allowing all of this to continue to rattle around in your brain, so to speak. Doing so is only likely to make it seem all that more confusing.

I wish you well...

Actually I have already ordered time to psychologist visit, but the problem is that I have to wait few months until the first visit now. As you can guess, it's budget psychologist, the private ones are too expensive to afford.