First of all, please don't hurt yourself or anyone else because of this. I'm not a professional so I can only speak from my own experiences, but it sounds like you need to tell your therapist and psychiatrist about your fears. You don't sound psychotic but it seems like you have some paranoia and racing thoughts that could contribute to your social anxiety. Your psychiatrist may need to adjust your medications, but you also need to do your part by being honest with him/her. Their job is to help you feel better, not judge you or call you a narcissist. I don't think you're a narcissist, anyway, but you need more support than you're getting currently. I wish you the best.