So from time to time, my apartment manager will put notices on our doors saying they are going to do inspections and that it will be anytime between 9-5 and it's usually the next day...


This sets me off for numerous reasons.


1. It means I have very little time to make my place decent. Not perfect, but decent. Which then triggers an anxiety attack in me because I think that they are going to do something to me because my place isn't perfectly clean (like it would ever be perfectly clean anyhow).


2. My apartment is my safe place. I never have people over. It's my private space. Having strangers in it is very difficult for me and causes me a lot of anxiety. I waited a month to ask them to fix my toilet because I was so afraid of letting the maintenance worker in.


3. I have told them numerous times that they can't just tell me between 9-5. Besides the fact that I have the right to be there when they enter, unless it's an emergency, that I am often home all day and I have a disability, and it's happened before that I've been resting or sleeping when they come by and BANG on my door and having someone break into my home is a trigger for me, so I don't want there to be an incident because I completely lose it (panic responses create a fight or flight mode, right, well I fight) and assault whomever is trying to enter because I'm having a PTSD related attack of some kind.


I don't ask them for much except to tell me if it's going to be morning or afternoon, and that's a pretty good chunk of time for them to work with. I really try not to be too demanding about and it and explain I will accommodate them however they need I just need them to help me out too because I have just spent the whole afternoon in a panic attack because of this note and the fact that they didn't answer the phone every time I've tried to call for the past 3 hours, and no one has answered my emails asking for help too.


I wish I could explain to them that I was abused as a child and my room was my only safe place (most of the time), except for the times my father violently broke the door down to get at me. So people coming in uninvited or worse, whenever they want to enter they bang on the door, not just knock, triggers huge amounts of fear in me and I will go into fight mode to protect myself from this perceived threat. It's not me trying to be unreasonable or just a total ****** to them.


i feel bad that I just ripped the woman in the office's head off (she was in from another location today because apparently all our regular managers are out?). I really don't think I'm being unreasonable when I explain to them that this is a problem due to my disability and that I'm happy to make arrangements if they can just be a little more specific about what they need and the time frame they are coming in.


I sometimes feel like a hoarder does about someone coming in their space, except I don't hoard.


Does anyone else have such extreme reactions to people entering their home?


Seesaw