Hi Just2b,

I empathize greatly with you. Anger is not a comforting emotion and it can be very difficult to deal with, especially if we have learned to suppress and or dissociate when we experience it. The important thing to do is validate your own emotions and allow yourself to feel the way you do. There is a reason you are angry and that must always be taken into account. Anger is healthy to express when it comes to trauma and PTSD; it is the behavior that needs to be carefully monitored and reeled in. It sounds like you have trouble with your behavior when you are angry, my suggestion is to try to find alternative ways to express yourself. I have been told to get a punching bag or punch my bed or pillows when I am upset.

In regards to the hospital and your DID system, I believe you know yourself best. Given how vulnerable DID can be, in my opinion any such decision should come solely from you, (and if anyone else) a trusting therapist or someone who truly has your best interest at heart. I have had VERY traumatic experiences at the hands of healthcare professionals, so I personally avoid the hospital at all costs unless it is a matter of life and death. (Because there is nowhere else to go but to public healthcare hospitals) Perhaps something that you could think about is why you want to go into the hospital. Perhaps part of you craves safety, nurture, comfort, protection, etc. (Irony being that hospitals don't always offer these things, in fact they often times deprive us of them.)

Thanks,
HD7970ghz