Going to church didn't help me because my secondary cause of PTSD is/was church-related. Unfortunately, abuse and misuse of authority is rampant in the churches no matter what the denomination. Those in recovery groups generally have horror stories to tell about what happen to them in their childhood church experiences. The mental illness group called NAMI has a faith practice within their organization for those recovering from the hurt and trauma they experienced while being ostracized as different by congregations-too-many.

However, that being said, living in an attitude of hope is what kick starts gratitude and in every spiritual practice that I've come across, HOPE is the core message irregardless of how it is sometimes re-interpreted to manipulate the masses through fear, guilt, shame and dollar grabbing by pulpit authority. Gratitude stops victim mentality every single time I am wallowing in the mire. I have learned to be thankful for what brought me to the Light, and then the Light of Hope takes over--whether through program work with my therapist, meditation, a serendipitous recovery lesson, the song of a bird, the voice of a friend, on and on it goes---when I am traveling with gratitude for whatever presents.

The good news is: No brick and mortar building can produce or stop this HOPE, and sometimes this HOPE may even be found there. That's why after ten years of nonattendance in a church, I am going to a candle light service at a church offering such in the morning on Christmas Eve. I will bring in and celebrate this HOPE, which has been taught to me in the privacy of my own heart, where my sorrow was met and healed in the Light.

Thank you for your post for in it I realized my initial hurt is not what it used to be and now I am strong enough to join others in celebration tomorrow within this HOPE of Light. And then go home glad of heart and enjoy the rest of my day...no matter what.