Yes, I have gone through much the same sort of experimentation myself. I have determined that taking care of myself is already a full time job, let alone being there 100% for someone else. I found my emotions became volatile and my anxiety and fear of abandonment grew tremendously.

Fortunately, being alone isn't problematic as it might be for someone who takes pleasure in companionship. I have always been more negatively affected by relationships than positively, so, lesson learned on that one.

I am glad to hear I'm not alone. I'm definitely not resentful or down about any of that. Being alone means I get to be healthy and have a full life. Every time I was with someone else I got unstable, even suicidal. I know what works for me, and I want to hear how you are all coping with your feelings. Do you ever feel sad or regret being alone? I do sometimes, but then I just remember what I have been through. How much I have hurt in the past.