Hi Rose76. I recently went into depression, the kind where there is no way out. Today an idea filtered up to me while my love was holding me. (I find the saddest things float away when I feel happiness.) I discovered what was bothering me was that during the past year, I had to face losing my children's love. I have a few things which make me want to survive and if they are threatened, I start giving up. I kept up mostly healthy behavior because I have experience, but next time I am going to remember where to look, and I am gong to remember that I can survive anything - there are shades of love and life and grief interwoven, I'll just wait and practice healthy behavior. God bless.