C,

dammit.....
I did it again.
I got vulnerable in a text to S.
To which, you know, he didn't respond. of course. God forbid we have any serious conversation outside of stupid memes and jokes.
And now I feel stupid. Like a child trying to get an adult's attention with childish things that don't matter to adults.
I hate that it still hurts.
I hate that it wasn't real. That he wasn't real.