Oh lord, I went and told her that I am afraid I;m going to do something really silly....seeing her in the flesh and blood and not just in the crazy fantasies that have been going on inside my head this week had the immediate effect of at least making me want to talk about this instead of just reacting...I with tears in my eyes said I need to ask her if I asked her to hug me would she? then I held up my hand and said this is just a question and one I seemed to have come to the conclusion will be my guide post as to where I go from here. T sat with that look on her face she gets when she has slightly been caught of guard and then replied, yes if you asked me and also we would talk about it....I done it, I %#@&#! asked one of those questions that scares the life out of you and I was convinced she was going to say NO!...she said you asked me that question very carefully. I said I no! but I asked it and I needed you to be a humanbeing in htat moment and not a T, she nodded yes. ...I told her about the awful week I've had and she said there are some practical things we can do, we can change around your sessions if that helps and you could come 3x a week...oh man, my dream 3x a week! BUT alas I cannot afford that, but she offered! she moved toward me with those offers!....I talked and talked and cried and cried and tried my best to meet her today....I told her at the end that I felt I came in all guns firing and now the fight has gone...she asked why I felt that? I said because I guess you met my needs, she asked how that felt? and I said peaceful, then added that she must be a strong person to sit with me for an hour and then I bet goes downstairs and pulls her hair out! she smiled and said, no you don';t do that to me!... aawwwww I am saved!