May be it depends on what you say... you did not share an example so I don’t know what to say. But, may be the best thing is not to make any comment but you mentioned that it is a reflex.
I have to also say this: some people will get offended just by the fact that you do not have the same issue that they have. And here the competitive nature, unfortunately comes into play. People look at life as a competition and subconsciously blame you for being at a better place then them. It is really strange. And unnecessary. Heart breaking to me...
Sorry for going off topic. In summary, just dont make any comment until you get to know them.