Hi bjuniors and Welcome to PC.

There are so many red flags that pop up in your post that I'm not even sure where to begin here. Maybe it's because in my own life I feel that I should take care of one relationship before having another. I don't think Linda has been fair to her husband or to you.

First of all you have to remember one thing here, you are only getting 1/2 of the story. In situations such as this, the one cheating can make up any story they like to give you. I'm not saying that she is lying to you, but at the same time, you couldn't possibly know what her husband is thinking and feeling or how their relationship is at home now could you??

Whenever there is a lack of something in a marriage, looking outside of the marriage for fulfillment is only going to bring heartache all the way around.

Of course your relationship together has been exciting and fun..it brings about those feelings because in your minds you know you are doing something that is not right but it's exciting.

Let me ask you one thing here and you have to be completely honest with yourself when considering this question.... If she were to divorce her husband and married you, how would you feel if she felt something was lacking and she looked elsewhere to fill in the hole???? I suppose it is possible that things might not get that point, but I have an issue with that because she has shown that all she cares about is herself. As long as she is fulfilled, you and her husband bedamned because she is getting exactly what she wants. She has her life at home with her husband that she says she loves and she has her hidden life with you....hmmmmmm who is winning here??? You?? Nope, not if you are looking for more than a physcial relationship. Her husband?? Nope, because he is only a part of the puzzle and not getting his wifes full attention.

I know this is not an easy situation. And please know that I'm not judging any of you. But I question her resolve to solve this situation and it's a no win situation for her. If she breaks off with either one of you, she looses something. It sounds like she is not willing to do that. In other words, she wants her cake and eat it too.

Do you not deserve better than that? Doesn't her marriage deserve better than that? In my estimation you should walk away, even though it will be hurtful for you. But it's the only way you can show respect for yourself and for her marriage. If in time, after your relationship has been ended and she and her husband have tried to fix things and it didn't work, and they divorce, if you are available and want to have a relationship with her, then she is free for that relationship. If it doesn't happen, then it wasn't meant to be from the beginning.

Another point I would like to make is this - since you are now questioning this situation and what you should do, that tells me you are not comfortable in your role anymore. That tells me that you are not feeling all warm and fuzzy and there are warning bells going off in your head. Heed those bells and take care of YOU.

Wishing you well in this difficult situation.


sabby