OldTaylor is right. You musn't give up! I have a really, really bad guy in my mind with me because I have DID and went through a lot of childhood trauma but, those feelings and thoughts don't have to rule over me. That's why I keep that personality on lock down so, that he can't hurt anyone and he is extremely delusional. More so than the rest of us in here. You have to learn to control it and that is no easy task. It takes practice and calming your mind. Also if you aren't seeing a doctor or therapist about this then, I suggest that you do as soon as possible. Good luck and Merry Christmas.