I had a session with my therapist, and she dug into my heart and it has made me feel uncomfortable after the session. I have a memory of going through an evaluation test with a different peofessional, and we talked about my attention to social cues. I am not sure if I can’t pick social cues, I am just mostly not interested.

But scratching through the heart just makes me realize how crappy my life have really been. And with all the cue reading and all that bullc***, I don’t know how I’m gonna get along.
All I’ve been busy doing is reading about social status. Emotional bonds have never interested me, because it’s hard and sometimes futule in my eyes to have a hold on them.

And to think of all the experiences I could have missed out during that time, it only makes me want to end my life. Because if that’s the life therapists want you to have, then it makes the life I wanted to live obsolete - a life of principles of me towards the environment. While in solitude, approaching life intelligently