We are all needy and I think the difference is how we fill in the gaps created by our neediness. We can look to get it from others or we can choose to look within ourselves; or life forces us to find it within ourselves , which was the case for me.
I was forced to leave home as a teenager and lived in multiple countries by myself until I settled where I live now. I had no other choice but to rely on myself for support (be it financial, physical or emotional support). This mandatory process was essential in finding the strength within myself. I was literally forced to do so.
I remember many nights, while living in my car in my early 20s, crying and begging to see someone caring for me or smiling at me or someone giving me a hug or asking how I was doing, but I never got it. I had no-one and I was forced to accept my solitude and stop begging for attention and care.
Of course, I never wish anyone to be forced to be alone like I was but I also cannot deny the fact that it helped me in learning how to be self reliant.
Do you volunteer? I have found that it helps me a lot when I am in need of love and attention. Giving love and caring for others help me feel loved.