The unbelievably terrible things she has done to me is astonishing, and I keep learning about more and more. It’s so hard. The woman I gave my life to is an illusion, and the person behind that is a monster. For years I couldn’t figure out how someone who loves another person could treat the other one like she treated me. After all, she was the love of my life and my soul mate (apparently not). We have a family together, one two year old and have been together and married for many years (less than 8). I could never do to her what she was and is doing to me. Then I started reading on Cluster B individuals, a few weeks ago. All the symptoms line up to a T. This has been a roadmap to recovery for me, and is helping me through this extremely difficult process and I hope knowing these items will drastically improve the chances of additional placement for my two year old child to be with me, when I talk with my lawyer. I can’t imagine my child growing up with someone who does not love fakes conditional love.

I am wondering if I’m alone out there in how hard it has been to leave my wife and maintain no or low contact, because of the emotional abuse she inflicted on me and my child over the past many years of our relationship. Our child is two years old, and I know my wife has never bonded with him.

After years of this I stood up for my child and I by telling her I was no longer comfortable in this relationship and I was done, she then tried to sabotage my entire life. The day after that I filed for divorce. She’s never said sorry, never tried to reconcile, and does not understand why I filed. She posted on Social Media she was heartbroken, she moved out of the house in three days, she has told an insurmountable number of lies, had her family members contact me. She moved on to her next victim within a week, Which was really hard to understand how someone who was heartbroken could do so that quickly, but this is a blessing in disguise.

This process has been the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. It’s been many weeks now, and I am slowly starting to feel the numb effect to begin wearing off (if I had to quantify what percentage I’m at I would say 1% and 100% is my goal). A tiny window of excitement for life has begun to show and I am so thankful for that. My child is so much happier now, the change is drastic in only a short time. I am however still an emotional roller coaster. I have very sad episodes where I cry. I don’t even know why, then I guess it’s the brain chemicals I’m fighting. I’m a grown man, crying out loud (pun intended). The time alone or with my child is so healing at home, and I can’t believe how dark the shell I was under was.

Am I alone? Did it help you in your recovery reading about people who are in the Cluster Bs? She has been trying everything to still control and hurt me, even though she has another relationship.