I will be honest, I don't remember much from the first few months of my son's life. Everyone tells you how wonderful being a mother is but they don't tell you about the hard stuff. I had to give up on breastfeeding (something I had looked forward to) due to my son being premature and I had to have gallbladder surgery right after he was born. The exhaustion of getting up every few hours for feedings, the no time for yourself, it is all hard. Some women can make it look easy but for most of us the reality is a newborn is not fun. You may have the baby blues (a milder form of PPD) which only a doctor can tell you but either way you are not alone. There are a lot of women who just don't do well with infants (my mom was one, she loved toddlers when they did stuff) but do better as baby ages. And most likely there will come a time when looking after your son will not be a drag. My son is 12 now and while I loved when he was a baby I love seeing him grow and mature and form his own opinions. Try and take some time for yourself away from baby. And if you need to talk just let me know, no judgement. Being a mom is hard.