I haven't been on this site since Nov 14th, which means, I've been feeling really well for over a month. I've had two therapy appointment in a row that have been really positive. I set one up for Wednesday because I remember from last year that I crash after Christmas. It started today. I was thinking about a close friend of the family and I just started crying. From there I started feeling blue about being home alone on Christmas Eve. Then the thoughts started. A little more aggressive than passive but I'm not in danger. I just can't get it out of my mind. I just keep thinking, why am I living. My therapist keeps reminding me that my son needs me. He really doesn't. He will be fine whether I'm here or not. I don't have a way. I'm going to bed. Maybe I will sleep these thoughts away. Does anyone else's mind go there at the slight bit of sadness? What is wrong with me?