</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
almeda24fan said:
I don't understand the coach role? What is that?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">It's an official position in the collaborative divorce process. The divorce coach (usually a therapist by training) works for both spouses (in some models, each spouse has their own, but not so much in our city), attends the legal meetings, works with the clients together or individually on communication issues (so you treat each other respectfully in the legal meetings, etc.), the parenting plan, helps interface with the child specialist, and works after the D with the clients on post-D adjustment and any issues that come up with the kids, e.g. desires for change in custody agreement. It is this post-D role that my T has said he will opt out of and go back to being just my T. He was first my individual therapist, then our couples therapist, then our divorce coach, with quite a bit of overlap in time. He has also done one session with my entire family (it was great! my T, the family therapist, in action). As the coach, his role is proscribed by a legal contract that eliminates client confidentiality. So he talks whenever he wants to about me and my issues with other members of the team (lawyers, etc.) for the good of the process. It gets confusing at times, as he is still my therapist, and is sometimes hurtful to me when I find out what he has shared with the others. They have passed new rules and starting this year, it is not allowed for a person's T to become their coach. But that was not the case when we began... T has different rates for coaching and therapy. (He makes more money coaching.) Whenever I see him alone, he charges me the therapy rate, but lately, he charges us the coach rate when my H and I go in together (he didn't in our summer of couples therapy), and of course we get the coach rate for the legal meetings.

Well, that's probably TMI, but if anyone is thinking about getting divorced and wants to consider CD, please feel free to PM me. It has definite advantages over mediation.