Quote:
Originally Posted by Miswimmy1
Personally, I don't think searching your T on the internet is a big deal. I know that it feels weird, especially if you end up finding stuff like the value of their house, etc. but if it's in the public domain, and knowing that stuff isn't going to interfere in the work you're doing in therapy, I don't see the problem. I almost see knowing something about your T as evening out the playing field a bit - they know all about you and you don't know anything about them (I don't know about you, but I'm genuinely curious about my T).
The one thing that I have noticed though (that is problematic) when people find information about their T online is when it leads the client to compare themselves to the T. For example, I've read posts in which people have begun to feel badly about their own living situation after discovering that their T lives in a wealthy neighborhood in a home which the client couldn't afford. Comparisons like that may be worth mentioning in session, because it could be a representation of a larger issue to work on in therapy.
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I agree, but I would also like to say you'll always find a reason to compare yourself if you're so inclined. I am not generally a 'comparer' but I recall a meeting between me, pdoc and head T (I think a nurse was attending also) in early 2014. (I was 16 then)I was in residential (had been for over 6 months by then), way too stressed and had attempted suicide a few days before. They said they felt it best if I took 2 weeks to relax - meaning no school or therapy, just doing what I wanted on the ward or on the grounds. My reaction was, "I have to go to school!" (School there was mostly a classroom with a teacher and everyone was working on their own subjects and material, so I wasn't missing anything class or instruction or anything). They tried to convince me that: school wasn't everything and: I'd get my degree and a job eventually.
I felt; yeah you can talk.. you all finished high school at a high level (different levels of high school in my country, you need to finish the highest in order to go to university), went to university for a bachelor a master and in pdocs case specializations first in general psychiatry then a deeper specialization in child-youth psychiatry, and head T also took another course after her Master else she couldn't have become head T.
They could talk. They had that part of their life in order. They had finished high school and became successful - and then they are trying to tell me I can be successful even without finishing high school?
What I mean to say - there are hundreds of points you can compare yourself to a T with. The price of her house is just one more.
Of course, money is a vulnerable point for a lot of people so knowing about their financial situation might be a 'trigger'. On the other hand, say someone tries to get into Harvard med school and fails, eventually is accepted into the worst med school in the country. Ten years later he goes to see a pdoc or other doctor whose framed degree on the office wall proclaims his graduation from Harvard. Or even sees his doctor's name on the alumni page of Harvard's website. That would also lead to comparisons, probably.
People will compare themselves to others on the points they are most insecure about. Money, appearance, social class and family life seem to be biggies from what I've read on PC.