Not crying at all today but very aggressively doing things. Reduced caffeine intake to one coffee this morning at 11 and an energy shot when I first woke up at 7. That seems like a lot but these shots have only 75 mg of caffeine and the coffee was half decaf. I did make it into the gym for around 50 minutes at full steam. The cold in the air makes me hurt terribly.
I'm angry at all those I saw dressed up in their cars driving past the poor soul that was walking home 20 miles in a hoodie, t-shirt and jeans after having worked 14 hours. Nobody gave him a ride. He must have walked past where I was in the gym or I'd have turned around and taken him when I saw him. I can only think "these are self-labeled Christians heading to worship their Samaritan saviour while passing by someone that very well could die trying to get home. What exactly do these people believe in?"
SI thoughts are very often today but the aggro helps push them out. Playing "night speaks to a woman" from the album "plasma" by Trey Anastasio over and over because it does mellow me, all 22 minutes of it. 5 more hours until "a Christmas story" comes on. Holding in there best I got. I did delve back into some of the Buddhist texts today to remind what I should do. That helps because it reminds me I'm not doing things right and there are better ways even though I'm having trouble with getting past my own pain. I also tried to meditate but failed because of the "Christians."