My Support Forums - View Single Post

Loose Screw x 2 · Dec 25, 2017, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

So, I have this problem with my hands. It's not all of the time but it happens frequently enough for it to be a problem.

I keep my hands away from my face as much as possible, even then they scare me, so I try to ignore their presence. I'm terrified of my hands when I'm like this because they aren't my hands. If I allow them to come close to my face,

Possible trigger:

I'm terrified that they will grab at my throat and strangle me or gauge out my eyes.

They aren't my hands, they're the hands of something evil and sinister. How I feel about my hands being evil is sort of the same gut-wrenching feeling I get when I suddenly believe that me as a whole is evil. I don't know which is worse.

My therapist believes I have DID. So, I'm just curious if this is common for people who have DID or if I'm just entirely off my rocker at this point.

I have this too. I've learned to get control of it in time but, it still feels that it's there.

Possible trigger:

I used to get out a Bible and place my hands between the pages and close it to destroy the evil or to chase it away but, eventually the feeling would always come back.

I also feel sometimes like hurting myself in some of the way you describe and have to remind myself of how irrational that is and how that part of my body is irreplaceable and why I need to keep it intact.

Possible trigger:

I do sometimes feel that my right hand is evil and that if I ever loose it that it will have to be replaced with some kind of blade.

I also have an alternate who is very dark but, am uncertain if this is connected with him.
It may also be connected with OCD and stress or a phobia. Hard to say. I'm just speculating. Your therapist (or doctor if you have one) should definitely be taking this seriously.