My Support Forums - View Single Post - How victim blaming hurts so many Survivors of abuse

seesaw · Dec 25, 2017 at 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

I don't think Buffy01 is challenging the thread. I believe Buffy01 is alluding to the type of people who call themselves victims but are actually perpetrator wolves in sheeps clothing. Perhaps Buffy was simply trying to remind us that in some cases blaming and shaming is justified, IF the victim is NOT a victim.

But in respect of this thread, we have to assume that the victim IS the victim and of course in our own situations we are victims. And, OF COURSE, in the event that the victim IS, in fact, a victim: one can safely say that victim blaming and shaming IS NOT OKAY.

I hate it, I have experienced it... I find it interesting that so many people with PTSD and trauma experience this. I have starting to believe the underlying cause is correlated with a growing lack of empathy and compassion in the world. However, on a deeper note, perhaps victim blaming and shaming is not merely a social phenomena so much as it is an intrinsic flaw in human nature. Invalidation hurts regardless. But it seems easier to doubt the person who challenges the norms, doesn't it? Until it is proven true. Unfortunately a lot of us do not have proof of trauma, we only have the internal wounds and scars and PTSD to show for it... So a lot of people are quick to judge us and disbelieve.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

So I disagree. Even with a person crying wolf they should not be victim blamed or shamed. Victim blaming does not get to whether or not a person is lying. It questions their behavior and says that they were deserving it. Again, I say the two are separate issues. Victim blaming is saying, you shouldn't have worn such a short skirt if you didn't want that guy to grope you. Someone accusing someone falsely is someone lying. In no way does victim blaming help you decipher whether or not someone is making a false accusation. That's why there are investigations and trials - to determine of a crime was indeed committed.

I don't see how victim blaming someone gets them to admit they are falsely accusing someone. In fact, all it does, really, is make women who are legitimately reporting abuse drop their claims so they won't be scrutinized and shamed and bullied.