Melanie, you're not the first person to say that. That anytime you say something, it seems to be the wrong thing to say. That seems to be how everyone feels about talking to me.

I always like to quote people when I'm talking about my feelings, just to make sure they aren't all introspection, because I know I'm not very fit to be engaging in that right now. So, I'll quote my ex girlfriend here, from before we were entirely in the relationship.

"You say you like me, but somehow you're still unapproachable, I'm afraid I might say something stupid or do the wrong thing around you. And you say that look you igve me is one of mild admiration, yet it scares me and I feel like I'm constantly being judged."

The relationship with this woman ended terribly, with something I'm only willing to discuss if you PM me, and which even in that case is a sensitive subject. Her second to final words to me were:

"I'm not sure I'm ever going to be comfortable around you."

And her final words: "I can't do this anymore. You're just insane, that's the only way I can explain this. I can't be with someone who I can't be happy around."

I quote this woman because for one, I had a dream last night that I ran into her again. And two, because what Melanie said reminded me of how people usually feel about me, and this woman is the main other person who outwardly said that.

That's the thing, I don't know how to warm up to people. I can't seem to make people comfortable around me, but I think it's mainly because I'm never going to be comfortable around them.

The best people in my life are the ones I don't seem to scare. But the ones who aren't intimidated by me, and don't think I'm "creepy," are the ones that I find it hardest to deal with. They're a few of my friends, but they're also the people who always confuse me about their thoughts of me.

For example, the young woman I think I'm in love with right now... I think more about how close I am to losing her friendship, than how I can move towards gaining her love.

I'm not a hermit, I interact with people. But it's always on a shallow level. I don't know how to truly secure myself in a friendship or a romantic relationship. I think each person has a minimum distance, a distance people will always be away from them, some are smaller than others. People speak of a "personal space bubble," I'm sure you've heard the term.

I think everyone's "personal space bubble," has different radii on both a physical and emotional level. Some people choose their own radial length, but I seem to have had it chosen for me, and it's a long one. I'm scared to death when people enter my emotional or physical bubble, as soon as they do I get anxious about how to keep them there, or what their purpose is in being there.

I don't know what to do because I'm down and it's like I subconsciously refuse to let anyone know about it.