No, you should not submit yourself to any abuse just because society dictates that we invite family over for the holidays.

I have a push-pull relationship with my sister too, where I've tried to discuss our relationship only to have her stonewall me by refusing to admit she's intentionally alienated me etc.,. It's futile for me to even try to discuss our relationship anymore, so I just don't.

If you know that your sister won't listen, then there's no point in trying to get her to see your point of view. My sister refuses to see my point of view, so that's why I just gave up trying.

So, maybe just find another way to tell her if it's that important to you. You could always send her an email where you express your feelings, to justify why you are taking a break from hosting Christmas at your house this year, etc. Nothing wrong with establishing strong boundaries with others to protect yourself emotionally.

There have been times where I've turned down my sister's invites to her home for Christmas, Easter, or Thanksgiving because I just didn't want to deal with my entire family's dysfunction. I made the mistake of going to her home for Thanksgiving this year, and was treated like a leper.

I don't even know if I'm invited to her house for Christmas Eve this year. She never calls me or contacts me. I always have to reach out to her. She intentionally doesn't invite me to her children's academic or sporting events, and if they ever ask me why I don't come, I directly have told them, "your mother didn't tell me about it." Which of course, pisses my sister off, but that's her problem. I'm not going to pretend to her children that their aunt and mother have a perfect sisterly relationship, as we just don't.

So, if spending time with your sister stresses you out, just be firm with her and tell her you're not hosting Christmas this year, etc. and limit the amount of time you spend with her. Life is too short to put yourself second, even to family members.