Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967
My family got together for a meal Christmas Eve and a good time was had by all. We got together again today to do presents. I so rarely get in a bad mood but boy howdy was I in one today! The only thing I could do was to be polite, stay very quiet and only speak when spoken to. Shortly after opening presents I excused myself and went to another room until everybody said their goodbyes and left. I’m the “nice guy” and everybody was just so confused. I feel really bad about it and so incredibly guilty and ashamed.
My sister tried to start something with me and I gave her a look and a one word answer and she shut right up. That is so unlike me. She said she was sorry I was so stressed out as she hugged me goodbye. I hope I can forgive myself at some point for being human and having human failings. Right now...not so much. I feel like a jerk.
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Please don't be hard on yourself for being human.
Maybe there was a message, for everyone, within your behavior?
Maybe you are tired of always being the "nice guy?"
I am glad you can experience a full range of emotions.
Self-compassion my grant you some further insight into you behavior.
I imagine you were merely taking care of yourself.

WC