So, I'm finally moving into a flat soon. I had to place bids online for a long time. I signed the lease about a month ago, but my old man has been there decorating it. There was no furniture or appliances, so things had to be supplied, and I have to get a smart meter installed at some point. I've yet to hire a moving van to get my things there, but that will probably have to be after the new year now.

Anyway, when I met this housing officer to go and view the flat the other month there, he had this other guy with him, and the officer admitted that he knows my social worker, as it's one of the first things he mentioned when he saw me. My mother arrived to view the property too. Both my social worker and the council know about my past woes. I've not heard from my social worker in ages, but I was fairly vocal with the guy I spoke to about how useless I thought my social worker had been (after he jerked me off a fair amount of times). This housing officer just seemed a bit too...nice, if you want to put it that way. I'm all for giving people the benefit of the doubt, but I cannot help but think there's something "ulterior" about all this. I've kind of got a criminal record that suggests I abused women, even though I never sexually harmed anybody. It was more like inappropriate insults, fueled by my anger, over feeling betrayed. Plus, I've got mild autism.

Basically, I don't know if you remember me mentioning this stuff before, but I often talked about wanting to do film work in many of my previous topics, like as an extra, and he wouldn't supply workers to go with me to movie sets, calling it a waste of their money. I've had a hard time doing social activities in general, however, as I have acute anxiety and there is currently nobody in a professional capacity to help at the moment (my older friend is vastly unreliable, and socially inept). I've had to give up on several workers before, as they were not helpful, and I think they function as stool pigeons. It was kind of agreed that I'd only have men supporting me, although social services know not to provide females anyway.

The guy was talking about trying to get me limited support. But not for acting. Although, I cannot help but think that they just want to probe into my business, because of charges to do with my former support staff. They will know I was in supported accommodation over 3 years ago, too, and the reasons why I was removed. Being that I'd be there in this new flat alone, I think they want to go fishing. They talked about sending somebody around to see how I'm getting settled in. Well, I know that these kind of people aren't trustworthy, and they may blab behind my back. They're actually working in the same building as my social worker, just in a different department. The building is just up the road from me as well. My mother said to me that, now that I'm aware they report things to one another, I should know not to be too open with them.

In addition to this, the flat is high rise and there's a concierge office too, with CCTV. I'm only on the second floor. Could it be that they intentionally offered me that flat because they believe they can keep a watchful eye on me? There's not that many flats I know of that have watchmen on duty either. Again, I may just be getting paranoid, or feeling suspicious over what could ultimately be nothing. However, I've kind of learned not to rule out these aspects, having been hurt so many times before. Because I have a record (although I'd argue whether I deserved any of this), they may want to monitor me. What do you reckon is the case?

Happy holidays, everyone!